Positively Living with Lisa Zawrotny

Hello Friends!

Scott and Sadie are joined this week by Lisa Zawrotny, host of the Positively Living Podcast and founder of Positively Productive Systems, for a conversation that is part productivity coaching, part life reset, and part gentle intervention for Sadie. 

Scott, of course, is doing just fine. 

Together, they talk about overwhelm, burnout, routines that actually work in real life, and why trying to do everything perfectly is usually the fastest way to lose your mind. Lisa brings practical, shame-free advice for getting more done without becoming a stressed-out disaster, while Scott does his best to keep things on track and Sadie continues to be a wonderful case study. 

It’s funny, honest, relatable, and packed with smart ideas for anyone who feels like life has turned into one long to-do list. 

Lisa’s work is through Positively Productive Systems, and her website is https://positivelyproductive.com/ 

Check out Lisa's Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/positively-living-shame-free-productivity-conversations/id1514222327

Check out our website: https://start-talking-with-sadie-and-scott.b12sites.com/index

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Did you know that at the time of the recording of this recording? Uh today's the first day of spring.

SPEAKER_05 0:16

I know. That's what you said. I don't know. I thought it was the 21st. No, it did not feel like it when I heard the ice pebbles hitting my frickin' house at three o'clock in the morning.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 0:26

Bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

So I've asked three of my friends if they wanted to go down six.

SPEAKER_05 0:33

Hold on, wait a minute. You have three friends?

SPEAKER_00 0:35

I have way more than that. I'm just phoned the three friends that can actually afford to do what I want to do.

SPEAKER_05 0:40

Oh, so your other friends can't afford it?

SPEAKER_00 0:42

No, because they're all fucking poor contractors who don't work.

SPEAKER_05 0:46

I was setting you up for you to be embarrassed, and you're like, you just doubled down. I do. You're such a dick.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

I know I phoned, I've I I reached out to three of my buddies, and I'm like, hey, listen, I am like, this is the first time that this has ever happened to me, by the way.

SPEAKER_06 1:03

What?

SPEAKER_00 1:04

I can usually get through the season quite easily. Because Joanna goes away in March or April with her girlfriends for their annual trip. It usually coincides with one of their birthdays. Yeah. And I usually sit at home and I don't masturbate. On the side of a mountain, yeah. Or on the side of a house. And I don't really have a problem with it because at least I know that we're going away soon. Um, but we've recently had to cancel a trip due to unforeseen circumstances. And the next time we're actually scheduled to go away is not till fucking October.

SPEAKER_05 1:33

Yeah, we're not. I we haven't gone away in a couple of years, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

And I said to Joe the other day, we were lying on the couch, I had a blanket on me, I was wearing a toque, and I was like, I just don't want to be cold.

SPEAKER_04 1:43

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

So I send messages out, I'm like, hey man, like let's do it cheap and cheerful four days. We'll go to Puerto Vallarta. We'll like just sit in beach chairs for and I hate that, but I just want to be warm.

SPEAKER_06 1:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

I want to be warm and not have to pay for anything, like food and booze wise, right? Sorry, man, I can't afford it. Nothing. Sorry, man, my wife would kill me because she's we've already paid for her trip.

SPEAKER_05 2:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

The other one was like, I don't like lying in the sun.

SPEAKER_05 2:11

Oh, go on to a treat, bro. Send me a list of these videos. Give me their phone number.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

At this time of year is to go to somewhere sunny. So the Caribbean, Mexico.

SPEAKER_05 2:22

It's coming, Scott. It's coming.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

That's what she said.

SPEAKER_05 2:25

Ah.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

All right, I got a question for you.

SPEAKER_05 2:30

Sure. Shoot.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Stress. Stress, anxiety. We've talked about it before. We don't want an adult anymore, was the title of one of our episodes. No, we don't. But this goes a little bit deeper. And this this ties in a little bit to our guest that's coming up later in the episode.

SPEAKER_04 2:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

When you walk into your kitchen and other people have been there.

SPEAKER_04 2:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Because I gotta be honest, I never I would never admit this out loud, but honestly, sometimes I walk in and go, somebody made work for me.

SPEAKER_05 3:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

You know, like somebody who made work for me.

SPEAKER_05 3:02

Like and I've Like the When the bagel, you see it, like you cut a bagel, but you didn't cut it on the cutting board, you cut it on the counter.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

And left crumbs. Yeah. Or you know that the dishwasher is only half full and it hasn't been through a cycle, put your fucking dishes in the dishwasher. You get into a position where you're and I've brought tried to bring our kid up this way, which is don't make for work for other people. Because you know why? You don't know what's going through their head. It could be every time they step into this kitchen, they're stressed and then they rage clean, or they just get really frustrated, and then they're a shithead for the rest of the day.

SPEAKER_05 3:40

Yeah. They're not fucking up. It could be an absolute set off.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Don't make don't make work for other people. No. And but there are solutions to that. And we're going to talk about that with our guests this week. Um and we'll get into it actually.

SPEAKER_05 3:55

She provide murders if you send her money in the mail.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Well, she's from Rochester, so maybe.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

Rochester.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

She might call some of my friends from the Danforth if you want.

SPEAKER_05 4:08

I've seen a picture of this girl. She looks way too cute to murder. Way too cute.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Well, we're gonna do a couple of things. We're doing it, just gonna do one thing before we jump into our interview with um with our guest. We're gonna play a like a grown-up would you rather game.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Let's play a real quick game.

SPEAKER_03 4:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

It's a grown-up would you rather. Now we've played Would You Rather. I had to do the voice. Sorry. But this has to do with productivity. This has to do with finishing things, or this has to do with just being a complete sloth, okay?

SPEAKER_04 4:41

Okay. Which I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Would you rather have a completely free weekend or a fully productive one where you got everything done?

SPEAKER_05 4:51

Fully productive.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

I'm the opposite.

SPEAKER_05 4:54

Hands down.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

No, I am. I just want nothing. Like, don't make me do anything from Friday at five.

SPEAKER_03 4:59

I find that very unattractive.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

All right. Well, we know how Sadie feels about big studies.

SPEAKER_05 5:07

I can't. Lazy, I can't. For me, that is like that triggers like, why are you lazy?

SPEAKER_00 5:15

Which is so not nice to the other person because you don't know what they're going through. You don't know what I'm going through. You don't know.

SPEAKER_03 5:21

I just got my period.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

I'm so paramenopausal right now. I could kill a cat. I did kill a cat. Scott, that was not nice. It wasn't your fault. I actually killed a cat. Ignorance was not murder.

SPEAKER_05 5:34

No, I know. I feel so bad about it still.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

We're not even gonna go into the story.

SPEAKER_05 5:38

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

Number two.

SPEAKER_05 5:39

No, go. No, I can't.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Oh, wait.

SPEAKER_05 5:43

No, Scott. No, Scott.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Listen, that's the sound book. It's you making a cat sound. You made the sound.

SPEAKER_05 5:50

I just said I know, but I just told you something so traumatic that happened to our feet.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Do you want to discuss it?

SPEAKER_05 5:55

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

Okay. Let's move on.

SPEAKER_05 5:57

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

Jesus. All right. Well, you know what? We'll save that for another episode. And I gave her a plant.

SPEAKER_05 6:05

Oh, she ate the lilies.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

To play with. She ate the lilies.

SPEAKER_05 6:08

Listen, if we have any listeners, look at the lilies.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

Look at this like something out of the walking dead.

SPEAKER_05 6:12

No, I'm not kidding you. She had them all over her face. I came in. I thought, why does this, why does this cute little 13-week-old kitten have like pollen all over her face? We made fun of her for like a day and a half until we noticed, oh shit. And then that sparked me to look it up on Google. The first thing it says is lethal. Like lethal. Oh God.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

I didn't know.

SPEAKER_05 6:34

Do you know my husband has not bought me flowers?

SPEAKER_00 6:35

And my I have- You don't bring me flowers. What? It's a song, Neil Diamond.

SPEAKER_05 6:41

I was going Miley Cyrus. Flowers. Run a name in the sand.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

All right. I picked a good song and you picked the Miley Cyrus song. We're gonna get cut off by Spotify, so you can't get too many verses.

SPEAKER_05 6:56

Yeah, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

All right. So we're sorry that you killed the cat. But you didn't because you didn't know. I didn't know, but I still feel like you know what they call that? Involuntary cat slaughter.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

Involuntary cat slaughter.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

Scott. Oh my god, Scott. I am the fucking funniest person on the planet. I am involuntary cat slaughter. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 7:30

I'm recording you right now because you're loving your life.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

All right, here we go.

SPEAKER_04 7:33

All right.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Would you rather wake up stress free or wake up already ahead of your day? One. It's me. Stress free.

SPEAKER_05 7:45

Says, oh, already ahead of my day. We're so opposite.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

But how do we click so well?

SPEAKER_05 7:51

I don't know. Do we? All right, here we go. Wait, hold on.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Would you rather oh uh hold on. Huh, fuck. This is a tough one. And neither of it applies to you because you don't do the email.

SPEAKER_06 8:06

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Would you rather never check another a check? Fuck. Would you rather never check email after 5 p.m. or always have inbox zero?

SPEAKER_05 8:22

I mean, always in box zero.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Yeah, me too. I get more like peas and carrots.

SPEAKER_05 8:27

Oh god. The emails I get from the kids' schools, like because I have three children. So every announcement is the same announcement times three. Every this is the same. This times three. I am inundated. I wake up and I don't even I don't even have a corporate job. I don't even need an email except for like refunds or like purchases.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

Your Amazon.

SPEAKER_05 8:48

Yes. Actually, I canceled Amazon.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

So my wife has something like 1135 unread emails on her email icon.

SPEAKER_05 8:54

I think you saw that in my phone the last time too, and it drove me crazy.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Infuriating. Yeah, no, I just all right. Here we go.

unknown 9:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Would you rather? I already know what I'm gonna pick up.

SPEAKER_05 9:07

Start so serious.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

Cancel plans guilt-free or never feel overwhelmed again. And this is something we're gonna talk about with our guests about being overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_05 9:19

Ooh. Cancel guilt-free.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

Oh, both of them. I want both. No, you don't want to pick that one.

SPEAKER_05 9:28

I want to I want to be both.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

Because you cancel all the time anyway. I do. And you're guilty. So who's- No, I know.

SPEAKER_05 9:33

No, no, you say I'm guilty. I don't want to feel guilty.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

I want to be able to do that. You do feel guilty when you're canceled, and you're the queen of cancellation.

SPEAKER_05 9:43

If I let anyone down, I feel guilty. All right, so in my like, I don't want to.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

You never want to feel no, but this is a big thing. Would you ever want to be overwhelmed again?

SPEAKER_05 9:53

No, I but I'm always overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Exactly.

SPEAKER_05 9:56

I'm an overwhelmed human.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

That is your answer, then. You would never feel overwhelmed again.

SPEAKER_05 10:01

It wouldn't even be me if I wasn't overwhelmed. Listen to my voice, I'm overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Listen, I can cancel plans guilt for like guilt free regard, or even with guilt.

SPEAKER_05 10:10

I mean, I cancel plans. I just I actually I just have the ability now to just be like, no, I don't want to do that. Or yes, I'm not. I'm coming in now.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

You're almost a pentagenarian.

unknown 10:20

What?

SPEAKER_00 10:21

A pentagenarian. We've discussed this. You're almost in your 50s. You're now I'm a septigenarian, so like fucking, I mean seven. Would you rather be busy doing things you enjoy or relaxed but slightly bored? Number two. I'm slightly bored. No, I'd rather be relaxed. I was actually, I took a vacation day today. I sat on the couch, Joanna was out, Liam went to work.

SPEAKER_05 10:51

Oh my god, we could have done this today.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Well, I was home. Well, I hadn't booked our guests yet, Sadie. So fine, whatever. You know, just let the producer produce, okay? Mr. Big Shine, Mr. Bombastic.

SPEAKER_03 11:07

Mr. Bombastic, all right.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

So would you rather be busy doing things you enjoy or oh or relaxed but slightly bored? I was perfect today. No, I'm number two because you know why? I got up, I got downstairs, I had my Corfis. Corfis. Let the dog, yeah, it's what it's called. You eat, drink Corfe. And then I sat on the couch and played Assassin's Creek and a little bit of video games, and it got slightly boring, but I was so relaxed.

SPEAKER_05 11:41

Oh no, I I'm not there. I would rather do the opposite.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

But actually, I'm both because it I do like doing things that I enjoy. Yeah. Like when I episode episodes of Startuk and Mercedes and Scott available on all podcast platforms, I quite enjoy that until I've got a you know.

SPEAKER_04 12:00

Do something else. Like your job.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

Yeah, it could be too.

SPEAKER_04 12:06

Or vacuuming for your wife?

SPEAKER_00 12:09

Just doing whatever she says because she's stressed out because she walked downstairs and there was a fucking spoon in the sink, but the dishwasher's not full. So why is there spoon?

SPEAKER_05 12:18

You know, you know the thing is, my husband doesn't listen to this, but your wife, I guarantee, does.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

Oh my god, she listened to an episode from two weeks ago and called me three times.

SPEAKER_05 12:27

Oh, dear, were you in trouble?

SPEAKER_00 12:29

No, you well, ostensibly I was in trouble because she called to criticize me three times. Why?

SPEAKER_05 12:34

But what?

SPEAKER_00 12:34

What did you say about that part? Not about herself. Like she wasn't being an ego maniac, but she was like, um, oh fuck, I can't remember what it was.

SPEAKER_05 12:43

We should bring her up here.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

No, not today.

SPEAKER_05 12:46

Well, not today.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Because she's angry. She just had her eyebrows done.

SPEAKER_03 12:52

It's just the way she looks. It's not the way she feels inside.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Are you ready to talk to our guest, uh, Lisa?

SPEAKER_05 13:00

I sure am.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

Uh I think you're really gonna enjoy this conversation, actually. And I love Lisa. And I've uh like I mentioned, I had Lisa on our pod uh my previous iteration of Start Talking.

SPEAKER_04 13:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

And it was such an incredible conversation. I really think you're gonna get a lot of a lot out of this. You know what? Let's take a quick break and let's get in uh to talking with Lisa Sarani.

SPEAKER_04 13:24

Sweet.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

So we have um we have a guest on the show, and you know, earlier in the episode we talked about a boot, we talked about um stress, we talked about remember that you know, and we talked we also I mentioned the episode that we did I don't want to add all that anymore.

SPEAKER_06 13:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

And we talked about stress, we talked about the anxiety of it, we talked about staying organized and whatnot. This is our next guest that's gonna help us with this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

All right, we're gonna start talking with Lisa Zarotny. She's the founder of Positively Productive Systems and the host of the Positively Living Podcast, which I listen to weekly. Lisa helps people who feel completely overwhelmed figure out how to actually get things done without burning themselves out in the process. And she's not just teaching theory. She lived it while caring for her mom with Alzheimer's, raising kids, running businesses, and trying to hold everything together. She hit that point so many know people know where survival mode just becomes your normal. What makes Lisa different is how she came out of that. She rebuilt her life around simple, sustainable systems focused on self-care, balance, and what actually matters. Now she helps others do the same so they can be productive and still have a life. Welcome to the show, Lisa Zarani. Lisa, thank you so much for joining us on the show. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Thank you, Scott. And hi, Sadie. It is a pleasure to be here. Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

So, Lisa, let's get a little bit of background on who you are. And um, we're gonna go through the whole thing, the socials, the website, positive positivelyproductive.com. Um, but look give us a little background on who Lisa is and what was the catalyst behind you kind of becoming an entrepreneur and doing this business.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

You bet. Thanks for asking. And you know, sometimes I think where where do I start? Because depending upon the day and moms understand this, I'm like, do I say I'm a mom? I just did. So that's where I started. Also a wife, also a business owner, like all the things. And I think the origin story that that you uh hinted at is I was also a daughter that became a caregiver. And I've actually been a caregiver multiple times over. I helped my mom care for my grandmother, I helped my mom care for my dad, and then I cared for my mom. And the reason I call that that one the origin story is because that was a huge time in my life, uh, just shy of five years, where I had I was pregnant twice. I had so I had two babies, and I had my mom, and she had Alzheimer's, and it was this huge point of survival mode for me. And it was completely life-changing in so many ways. I'm proud of what I did. There are things I would have changed, but also it was the catalyst behind saying where did these rules come from as to how we need to be productive and what we need to do and what we're expected to do and why we have all these obligations piled on us. Like, I started to question everything, it was very X-files uh coded. And I was like, or maybe that's trust no one. Same thing. I mean, it was all of that. And I was just I was done. And I think being broken down sometimes helps you because you're like, I got nothing left. So I got nothing to lose, literally, because I've pretty much lost it all. How do I rebuild this sucker and do it on my terms? And that is not a common thing to ask, but I'm so glad that I did it because the path that I've taken since then has uh allowed me to help other people ask the same question and hopefully ask it sooner than I did. There's just there's so much to unpack, but basically it's uh I understand what it's like to be in survival mode. I deal with a lot of trauma and it didn't stop after that. I wish I could say, you know, life was all sunshine and roses. We know that's not the case, but it's so important for me now to say, hey, how do we do the things we really want to do, still achieve stuff, get ish done, but also do it in a way where we can appreciate our lives and ourselves and not like just feel constantly obligated or or look outward for it. We we get to be who we are and and still get things done. I you know it's just a special combination that I think all of the productivity experts out there, I think they're missing this boat. And I'm I'm here to advocate for the people who are dealing with the trauma, dealing with the grief, dealing with life.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

And this this goes with every aspect of every person's life. This is like not just chores or not just getting the kids ready or caring for an elderly parent. It's also going to work. It's how do you how are you positively productive at work?

SPEAKER_05 18:38

It's it's how are you how are you showing up for everybody? It's the pressure.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

Actually, I really like that phrase. How are you showing up? Yeah, and it shows up.

SPEAKER_05 18:46

But then you when you when you do it for too many people, you can't do it for yourself. You have a hard time showing up for yourself. Because you're just it's you're on thin ice, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

And when you don't show up for yourself, how's the rest of it gonna play out? You know?

SPEAKER_00 19:02

Yeah, for sure. So what like I might be jumping a little bit f too far ahead, but what's one thing that someone can do today? Just one little thing. Let's let's we're starting kind of at a little square one. What what is something that someone can do today to feel less overwhelmed? And whether and an insert overwhelmed topic here. Whether it's my wife gets down into the kitchen, if there's a mess, it doesn't matter how big it is, she just gets overwhelmed. And she needs to step back and kind of go and I don't know, swear in a corner or something. Whereas I kind of want I'm a very even keeled person, as Sadie knows. Judge's ruling, I'll allow it. So but I I just go ahead and do it, right? Like I though those things don't make well, maybe they do make me overwhelm because sometimes they piss me off. And that I guess the anger is a is a key factor in this, I assume, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:59

Oh, it can be because rage cleaning is very much a thing. That's me. I'm really, really bad for that. Really bad for that. And I think that's I think what happens there is it's that adrenaline spike. This happens a lot with people with ADHD, right? And that's those are people that I work with a lot because they're like, I need something different. What's happening here? And I'm like 11th hour much. So what I really like is you talking about the the different perspectives and where the overwhelm comes from. And you know, a messy kitchen's a great example. So the first answer that I would have, you're already heading there, which is the idea of decluttering. And and again, across the board for your life, whether it's I've got too many thoughts, too thing, too many things like just distracting me and trying to grab my attention, you need to get those out and in a safe place. But if you're in a space, your environment that just feels like too much, overstimulating, messy, you're right. Decluttering and cleaning it is a first step. But sometimes you're so overwhelmed. It's like, what's the first step before that first step? And so I'm glad you brought that up. And that's where you come up with a way to reduce the scope. And what I mean by that is you can't look at a kitchen and be like, I gotta clean the kitchen. What you have to do is say, I'm going to take out the garbage because that's easy. I grab this bag and I walk out the door. And then maybe I don't come back for a while so I can decompress, you know, just saying. I was just about to say that.

SPEAKER_04 21:35

Sorry in your garage drinking a bottle of wine.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

So there you go. See, see how we can put these things together. It can be it can be both practical and you know, and uh, and and useful. So yeah, it's the it's the picking the one thing. And sometimes that can be done by you. Sometimes it's good to outsource it. You could, you could, you know, roll literally roll the dice. Or you could think, okay, there's the garbage, or there's pulling the dishes out of the sink so I can make some sense of this and actually rinse things. And it could that could be A and B. You could, you know, tell someone to pick A or B. You could decide what is what's called low-hanging fruit. And that just means the easiest damn thing to do because you're building momentum. Now, sometimes that can be a good way to go, but sometimes we need something that got it. It feels you just you feel like an achievement about it. So sometimes it might be a bigger task, but you know damn well that you are going to feel so much better once it's done. For for some people, it could be I've cleaned the counters and now I feel like I can breathe again because those counters need to be clean. You have to know if you're that person. I'm not that person, but if but if you know that you are, and I've had many clients who are, then that's where you go. So knowing yourself really helps. And we've talked for a long time, and and you followed along, Scott. So I know you know the the cliff's notes on this, but uh productivity's number one tool is self-awareness. So knowing you can know which that little first step is. I don't mean to politician this answer by being like, it depends, but I hope you get the idea. It is decluttering, it is simplifying, it is taking one step, but that one step is going to depend on you and what will feel the best and be easiest.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

What a great way to kind of explain it just by breaking it down into smaller segments, but there is a word hanging over my head right now, and it's the G word. And it's I'm lying on the couch, I should be cleaning, I'm overwhelmed, now I feel guilty about it. How do we fix that part of it? Is that part of a process um to I won't use the word healing, but is it part of the process to fixing ourselves as as um people who are not positively productive?

SPEAKER_02 24:12

So, you know, we could get tangled up in in the fact that uh, you know, asking the question, do we need to be fixed? And I think that's where we get in this like the the you know, the the wheel of death on the computer, and you're like, it's not processing and it just keeps going and going and going, and and not nothing's given um or nothing's um resolving. You're feeling guilty because you feel like you should you use the S word, right? So shoulding on yourself, and and so we're in this loop. Uh for some reason I'm thinking of one of my favorite sayings, which is um when you feel like something's urgent, I always like to ask the question, whose urgent is it? So, and and to be fair, we live in homes with other people. So I know that um I live with my mother-in-law, and um cleaning the space is urgent for her. Now, we sometimes will have to have a discussion, right? Yeah, so so it's being respectful of people, but then you have a discussion and you say, right, but what I need right now is to rest and regroup. And so it's it's kind of it's finding that compromise. But I think the first step is being okay with with where you're at at the moment, and then really figuring out why it matters. Like, and and there is some mindset to it. There is almost a therapy-like kind of vibe. People will say it it feels like therapy with me. To be very clear, that's not my jurisdiction. I am not a therapist, but it can feel therapy-like because we're asking the questions you haven't asked before about random things like whether or not you're doing the dishes or making your bed or or or getting your tasks done or whatever. You you haven't asked those questions before, you haven't made those connections. So the first question I would ask you if we were coaching is you know, why are you feeling guilty? What's going on there? And that answer will actually help inform you as to what to do next.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

I always feel guilty, but I I tend to have a roommate who makes me feel guilty because it was right along the lines that you said that it's her urgency.

SPEAKER_05 26:30

Yeah. It's the same in my relationship, though. This is the same with Todd. Like I can't relax or focus on anything until all of my spaces are the way I want my spaces. I don't like cluttered surfaces. I'm a minimalist by nature. So um uh I feel like a lot of chaos can happen the more people that are in the home. And I do have three boys, you know, lots of friends over, a husband and whatnot. And I have this standard of cleanliness that does not match everyone else in the house, let's say. So, you know, it it can be a bone of contention, obviously, in a in a marriage. One is always a little cleaner and one's always a little messier. I mean, I I I every relationship I know is kind of like this, but I would say the tasks that I put on myself end up stressing me out. Uh, and I don't, I don't, I don't know why. Like I don't know why I can't just leave dishes in the sink or you know, let my pillows look a certain way on my couch or not vacuum once a day, just kind of let it go. And I just I I can't, I turn into like a bitch almost. I vacuum every day.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 27:44

How like every single day. No, I know it's it's it's actually a compulsion. I have to vacuum every day. I have to. Have to.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

Well, I just can't relax. Well, and the but okay, so Sadie, I'm gonna ask this question of you, but Lisa, it's sort of to you as well, because you're our you're our answer machine. Does that translate to work? And the second part of it is Lisa, how do we handle this in our jobs? And whether it's a work from home or whether you're in an office environment, we're taking the example that Sadie's just laying out. How do we like Sadie? Does it translate for you at work? And then Lisa, how do we deal with things like that? Because you're dealing with people you can't tell to fuck off because they're you're at work.

SPEAKER_05 28:31

You know, when I'm at work, I don't tell my wife to fuck off. There is a certain people, which you know, I'm not you know, no one knows where I work and the people I work with, but I definitely get very agitated and can get a little snippy when I feel like I'm doing more of the work than somebody else. And granted, some of these people are a lot younger than me, they're in their 20s. You know, we're very different ages, different responsibilities, different generation. And when people just don't pick up the slack, you know, I'm like, why am I doing all of this work? And you're just chatting and playing on your phone right now. It actually just just makes me crazy. But Lisa.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

So I'm I have so many thoughts. So I'll do my best to keep them organized and we'll we'll kind of keep uh working our way around this topic. For one, um when it comes to uh work and home, sometimes there can be a huge distinction, actually. But I think it's there's something deeper going on, and and I I want you to indulge me, please. Uh, Sadie, when I was listening to your episodes together, um one of the questions you had asked her, Scott, was about routines. And Sadie, you had said something about like, well, I it's not really my thing, but it is my thing for my kids, right? Yes. And right, and and that totally makes sense, and that happens a lot. And that immediately hinted at something that um I would be curious about, and you may not have the answer right here, right now, but there's uh the Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin shows us how we uh how we show up. It like what sort of motivates us to take action. And there's it's it's a lot more complex ecosystem than that. You know, these are like singular self-assessments. So there's, you know, it's with a grain of salt, but I find it really interesting as a productivity coach to have people take the Four Tendencies quiz because it it can really tell us a driver to consider. And when you said, okay, I'm not necessarily inclined to do the routine, but I will do the routine and I do it really well and often for my kids, it made me think obliger and just very quickly overview. We have obliger, questioner, rebel, and upholder. And it's inner or outer expectations. Um, and so the inner and outer both would be an upholder where it's like sometimes, you know, I I'll go outward and you need me to do something and I will show up and do it. But I have boundaries really squarely in place. So if I can't do that, I'm not available, then I'm I'm not available. And some of us are like, you can do that. These are the people who are like, nope, I'm going to the gym right now. I cannot help you. And you're just like, and I I know for me, I'm a questioner. So I'm fascinated by that because it's all internal to me. It it's um, I'll comply if you show me why. Whereas the upholder is like, discipline is my freedom, and I I've got both equal. And then the rebel is the um I can't you can't tell me what to do, I can't tell me what to do either. And and there's a big motivator, but the obliger, which is like 70 plus percent of the population, is um you you can count on me, and I'm counting on you to count on me. So that's the person that will show up and do the task more readily when some when it's an outward thing, someone else needs it. Like they're the ones who practice yoga better when they become the yoga teacher or read the books that they right. Okay. Yeah. So so I I had this hint that I was like, oh, that sounds like she might be an obliger. And knowing that can help you understand also why you show up at work and you're doing the things. And I bet you at work they can so count on you. Yes, they can. All the damn time, right? Yep. And then do you get to a point where you're like, I'm doing it, I'm doing it, I can't help but doing it. You mentioned the word compulsion, there's a lot of reasons for compulsion, and some of them get into like psychology, and again, that's not my jurisdiction. I know enough to get myself in trouble. But, you know, if you know that, you know, this is how you show up and you're going to keep doing it, but eventually you get freaking tired because you feel like you're taken advantage of. And then at some point, do you do you get to to this point where you're like, I've had it up to here, like way over your forehead. I'm done. Like stick a fork in me, like I am done, and you're all dead to me.

SPEAKER_05 33:24

Yeah, no, I I can get I can get pretty snap, pretty snappy, like where I'm like, I can get pretty snappy. Like when I get to that point, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm a pretty, I'm a pretty vocal person as it is. I mean, I I don't do these things quietly. I don't go through, you know, you know, trying to do everything all the time, even when someone's standing beside me fully capable of doing it. I I do, I'm very vocal of the fact that, okay, do you want to like, you know, start moving? Start, you know, I've they understand that I'm getting frustrated. I don't just keep it to myself. You know, I don't understand why people just can't read my cues.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

So that's good. I mean, it's good that you're communicating. So I wanted to mention that because for obligers, there's something called obliger rebellion, where they get to a point where they're like, that's it, I'm not doing this anymore. But but but they are compelled. And so then now you're mixing in other aspects of your personality and and your tendencies where you are communicating. But if they're in a position where they're like, Yeah, but it doesn't make sense to me, so I'm not doing it. And Sadie's gonna do it. You know what I mean? So, and I and I'm not making excuses for them. I'm saying this is kind of where you're mixing and matching people, and it gets more and more complex. So communication is huge. And it's like sometimes um when you're trying to figure out why someone isn't doing something, you can ask, like, what's the hesitation, you know, but they won't necessarily know. It can take multiple questions, and if it's in the workforce, it can be really tricky to have that conversation. But sometimes sensing like what they're about, like if they're questioner like me, if so, sometimes I'll I'll use language. I don't know if this will be helpful, but I'm gonna toss it out there. We'll we'll see what sticks against the wall with my spaghetti here. But uh, I will have conversations where I will speak uh w with different tendencies in mind. So, what I mean by that is I will say something like uh that will not only hit upon like what a questioner would need, like I'm a questioner and I need to know why, why this matters. And it and so I'll like do that with my kids, for example, and be like, this needs to be done, this needs to be done at this time. It's part of what we do here. So an upholder, you know, will be like, okay, got it. This is, you know, it's scheduled, it's structured, got it. But then the questioner will be why, and it'll be like, if we don't put the garbage out tonight, we hold on to all this garbage for another week. There's not another chance, you know, it's like, oh, that's why it's important, you know. And then it's like, we're people who take care of these things so that we can move on and do more fun things. Oh, that's the kind of people that we are. It's like it's sort of it's giving justification, it's speaking in in a variety of languages to help people kind of touch upon where their motivators are, what what brings them to take action. You have to learn that about them, but you know, it's something to consider. So I thought I'd mention that.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

Now, what we've got here, because it sounds to me like Lisa, you're going in and I want the audience to kind of get a feel if they want to visit product positivelyproductive.com and check out some of your modules and also check out um the program itself. It almost sounds like you've done a bit of a clarity call with Sadie, but could we do a bit of an example of how you would nor like how you would um regularly deal with a clarity call with someone and use Sadie because she, you know, we love her neuroses and her little ADHD thingies.

SPEAKER_03 37:07

Undiagnose. Self-diagnosed, self-diagnose, undiagnosed.

SPEAKER_00 37:14

We've talked on a few of our episodes about Sadie's ADHD and my misophonia. So we're quite a pair. I want I want everyone to get a feel for it because this is a valuable tool, and we're trying to sell it Lisa to our audience. So, because we want Lisa to be filthy rich, and then she's gonna get in a big boat and come across the other side of the lake and land right in Coburg Harbor.

SPEAKER_03 37:37

Rochester to Coburn.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

Right in Rochester, I love it. She gets her cutlery and or she gets her silverware and and a napkin. Yeah, okay. So could we do no, it's normally so when you go to Lisa's website, a clarity call is normally about 45 minutes. So let's kind of condense it a little bit because you know, for sake of time and your time was valuable to us. Um, can we go through the process and give a little bit of a clarity call and then please diagnose Sadie and get her fixed so that first of all dead boon stare.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

Yeah. And to be clear, uh part of what we do there usually involves pre-work, but we just we played with a little bit of that in in that I'm like estimating that you're an obliger. So that's a consideration. We also do pre-work that involves uh character strength. So that's really important. That just helps with understanding, you know, where you come out strong and how to incorporate that. All of these things together help you find the easiest, simplest steps to do the thing that feel more satisfying, because the whole point of productivity, right, is to lead a more satisfying life. And when we do the things that we love and that we're good at, we actually experience that. I just want to make a side note here, which is that we spend a lot of time saying, I struggle with this, I'm weak at this thing, let me fix it. And I would counterpoint how about we concentrate more on what you're good at and and what you're inclined toward? Sometimes it feels like a cheat code, but I'm okay with that. Anyhow, given that, um, Sadie, my first question to you would actually be is there something going on in your life where you would love to do a thing, but you're not getting to it? Or, you know, there's something that you want to achieve and you're frustrated with how it's going or the choices that you're making or how to even make those choices. Is there something that comes up for you where you're like, oh, if somebody who could help me with being more productive, taking action, building habits, organizing things could help me? This is this is what it would be.

SPEAKER_05 39:58

Man. As you're asking me, am I uh that question feels extremely overwhelming to me. I don't All right, then let's fix the scope.

SPEAKER_02 40:07

So is there anything in your life that feels um disorganized or frustrating to you that that you really wish that you could get a handle on?

SPEAKER_05 40:19

My basement. That's a place to say that sounds so crazy. That's fine. Okay, it is the most chaotic place to me. Um, it's just something that never got done. Everything's everywhere. I'm battling with, you know, with all the boxes. And it just I go down there and it's a complete shutdown, which is so unlike me. Because normally I would just, this is what I'm doing, and I'm gonna finish this. I'm gonna start it and I'm gonna finish it. And I get so excited and oh God, I just love finishing tasks like that. I just, it's just something I cannot seem to wrap my head around. And also coming up with all the finances that I need to finish my house. So that's 100%. I like 100%. I like that. I don't like living in 90 or 95%. I see a lot of flaws everywhere. I'm just a person that walks in into my own home. I'm not gonna use someone else's home. I could care less what you have on your counter or what's going on in your home or how clean or dirty your floors are. I don't care. But when I walk into my space or my things, my immediate um thought is all the things that should be better than what they are. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 41:38

Yeah. So you're you're seeing the problems immediately. Everywhere. Has that has that translated to uh the types of of careers that you've had, you know, minus the hallmark? Um, but like have have have you tended toward jobs that are like um risk assessors or or you know, things where you're where you're the the the troubleshooter where you're like you're gonna anticipate the problems or things like that?

SPEAKER_05 42:00

No. No, I grew up uh, you know, just doing menial jobs. And then I, you know, was a was an actor for 20 years until I had kids. And I was not a famous Canadian shut up, shut up. Uh no, I uh grew up in a I mean a pretty weird industry. You know, there's a lot of uh highs, a lot of lows, um, a lot of pressure. It's a lot of a lot of criticism, too. Ton of criticism. Um, you know, uh you're it's hard to battle with your ego a little bit. Um yeah, I but I did that. That was kind of that was my career until I it wasn't my career, and now I do something else. But uh that would that was kind of the only thing I ever loved and wanted to do and was passionate about. But it was a really hard thing to be able to do all the time.

SPEAKER_00 42:50

And she spent a lot of time in high school smoking heat in the forest.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

So, so part of why I asked that is is in like a cold call, having just met you. I wanted to, you know, I'm trying to explore and get a sense of um where the uh the impression is, like using your house as an example and walking through and being able to immediately spot all the problems rather than appreciate the things that are working. I'm just curious where that comes from and is any of that learned behavior from your family of origin, you know, what you grew up with. They smoked a lot of heat too.

SPEAKER_05 43:28

Uh I mean, I always grew up Sadie and only Sadie. I have a question for you. I uh, you know, grew up in a a, you know, loving home, two great parents. Uh, you know, mom always kept a very neat and tidy home. Um, but there was never an extraordinarily amount of like a big expectation put on me to, you know, have my floors clean and do all that. That's just something that I feel like I do to cope with stress. Or boredom or anxiety. Um, yeah. Because I definitely do like rage clean. Like if I clean something or if I come down and everything is all over the place, it makes me feel like I'm in absolute chaos. And it's getting a little better, I guess. But definitely when I had three kids under the age of four, um, you know, it's like that um theory of like keeping up with the Joneses. Ironically, I am a Jones. Um, but maybe I just want for everyone else for me to appear that I have everything under control when maybe I don't have everything under control.

SPEAKER_02 44:41

And if you didn't and they knew that, what would that mean?

SPEAKER_05 44:45

That I was failing.

SPEAKER_02 44:47

Right.

SPEAKER_05 44:48

That I wasn't as good as somebody else, I guess. Which why do I care about that? So weird.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

It's so strange. Um that yeah, um, but that's the that's a driver, right? And that and I was actually going to, you just kind of pulled right in there, which is great because I was going to go back to the thing that you said before, which is that you like a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_05 45:09

Yeah, I like a hundred percent. Because that I'm just gonna wonder when the ten percent is gonna happen. Like that the when is that gonna happen? Why would I want to why would I want things to just be 90% when they could be a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

So it's missing potential, or it needs to be that in order to be good enough so that you're not considered failing. I think it's the secondary of what you just said. Okay, so yeah, if it's 90%, then that could hint at someone that the cracks could show, right?

SPEAKER_05 45:50

Um and okay I think it's a thing of just like uh I guess a huge insecurity. I I never realized until the old now the older I'm getting, you know, I'm approaching 50, is how insecure I was. Oh my God. And still, still how insecure I can feel. Um especially as I'm aging and you know, hanging out with, you know, younger, you know, people at my work and just feeling I don't know, like not not good enough. I don't like that statement. I just um gosh, I don't know, Lisa. It's hard to to wrap words around it. But I think I'm just I grew up very insecure, but acting very secure.

SPEAKER_02 46:37

So um a couple things. One, yeah, this there's so many like women right now who are gonna be like, yeah, I'm raising my hand. I I feel this deeply too. Um there's also um some some patterns that we see in studies, like for example, when women go to apply to a job. And you know, this is versus men, where it's like, no, I have to be the the percentage of what they feel that they are um experienced sufficiently, right? Yeah to go for this job has to be so much higher. Yeah. Um I think anecdotally, we have this tendency to overcompensate, like over prepare all the time. And so there is kind of uh however it's all semantics, right? Whether it's good enough or whether it's dealing with insecurity, there's a lot here to unpack that I, you know, I I can't necessarily um so much to unpack with Sadie Car.

SPEAKER_04 47:33

Wow, I got serious there.

SPEAKER_00 47:35

But but at least it's gonna be just punch me right in the face. Shut up.

SPEAKER_02 47:41

With your no, you you did say something about listening to my podcast weekly, so I'll allow it. But so mercenary at this point. But okay, so going back to this idea is this is an awareness thing. This is so important for your own conversations to understand. And now, here's the thing too, is that we like what we like, what triggers us, triggers us. That is what it is. And you can go to therapy, and it may never, you know, that that may never change. Um, we have the coping mechanisms that we have. But one of the things that I always say, and I I so it kind of goes back to the idea of clutter in life, and and I really do think this is all connected. And Peter Walsh says clutter isn't just the stuff on the floor, but anything that gets in between you and the life you want to live. And I love applying that to the whole life clutter idea, which is that what's something cluttering your life, it's what gets in between you and the life you want to live. So if keeping your home at the level of cleanliness that you have is good for you, then it's not clutter. But if the compulsion to clean to that 100% and not allow yourself the 90% or the 80%, and I'm not, I don't even mean to say it in a way where I'm I'm not judging it either way. It's just it's understanding what your levels are, what they are, right?

SPEAKER_05 49:08

Like there's there's times where you know I will, you know, rage clean or I get so flustered and I just I the you know, the there's a lot of racket in my house or chaos or you know, people in and out, and I just need to focus because it makes me feel calm when I clean or vacuum or whatnot. But I do have those little thoughts in my head where, you know, I lay down at night or, you know, in my bed or I think, God, I snapped on the kids today for for for no reason. It was my own reason. It was had nothing to do with them. But how many times have I done that, that it would affect their lives or, you know, how they're perceiving me as a mother? Or how many minutes have I wasted where I could have been, you know, playing a game with them, a board game with them? Or how many times did I possibly dismiss them in that state that I can get in? It's horrible.

SPEAKER_00 50:01

It's a G word again, guilty.

SPEAKER_05 50:03

Horrible.

SPEAKER_00 50:04

Sorry, Lisa, time out.

SPEAKER_02 50:06

Have you uh what what ages are they?

SPEAKER_00 50:10

Sorry, Lisa, one second wife was just oh, there's my wife, Joe. Say hi, Lisa. Why are you?

SPEAKER_05 50:18

Oh my god. I know he wanted me to come in and ask you why you were so angry.

SPEAKER_00 50:25

She looks like a possessed ventriloquist still.

SPEAKER_05 50:28

Lisa, she does not. She looks too much.

SPEAKER_00 50:31

No, you're not going to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_02 50:36

She looks like she stepped through the um the Narnia.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

Um my god, it just actually did.

SPEAKER_04 50:44

That looks so weird.

SPEAKER_00 50:46

That's hilarious. Hold on a second. Hold on, let me open.

SPEAKER_05 50:51

Oh, things are getting wacky.

SPEAKER_00 50:53

What didn't really do anything? The door of like Narnia. I was hoping. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

SPEAKER_02 51:05

Um, it it'll it'll open up into Narnia when it's ready, but when you try to make it happen, necessarily it doesn't do it.

SPEAKER_00 51:14

Lisa, we don't we don't want you to go into a full cycle analysis of Sadie. Right. I don't want any more to do that. Before we could get any kind of results. Now, are you able to kind of gather with your experience? You've been doing this for so long. I'm sure you've seen a thousand Sadies um in your process.

SPEAKER_05 51:37

That's a scary thought.

SPEAKER_00 51:39

Poor Lisa. On every street corner. Oh, oh my god, on every street corner. Like in the matrix, I just want you on every street corner so I can stop and go, hi.

SPEAKER_05 51:51

Scott, stop talking right now.

SPEAKER_00 51:54

So what kind of a let's let's look at um, we're not looking at um a plan or anything like that. Uh it's more, it's more, what's your thought? Like what is your diagnosis? I shouldn't have used that word. That was an incorrect word. Yeah. What are your thoughts? And what can what can we how can we fix Sadie?

SPEAKER_03 52:16

Let's get down to the brass tacks.

SPEAKER_02 52:19

Not not fixing. Um, I'm I'm I'm not buying into that word either. We're not talking about diagnosing, we're not talking about fixing, but my question to Sadie, and only Sadie, would be um, what would you what would you like to adjust of that? Because you just you threw in a ton of introspection there about like you know, making more time where you're present. And Mike also my question would be communicating. So I'm going to throw out a few ideas that I would have if I would say, well, let's work on some habits that you can, you know, move forward with, right? Okay. So one of them would be um, first of all, spotting when you did this, which you're already doing. Now let's create an anchor habit, which is making a note to actually have a conversation. I did uh ask um ages, you know, because we want this age appropriate.

SPEAKER_05 53:12

Yeah, no, they're almost 11, 12, and 14-year-old boys.

SPEAKER_02 53:16

Okay. 100% ready to have a conversation that shows mom is human, dealing with her own stuff. How do you deal with those things? Because we are going to lose our ish. We are gonna snap. Um, and things matter. So if you haven't already had the conversation with them about it's important for me for things to be clean because I feel calm when that happens and I feel like I can focus better. When do you feel like you can focus better? Because by the way, um your environment affects and reflects your mental state.

SPEAKER_05 53:50

So I'm all for you know, do you think do you think like this is this is offside? Oh no, actually, it's on topic. Do you think I'm like creating three hoarders? I'm always worried about that. I think, God, if I put so much pressure on having things, you know, clean and look nice and X, Y, and Z.

SPEAKER_00 54:10

Z.

SPEAKER_05 54:11

Zed, whatever. Rochester.

SPEAKER_02 54:14

Exactly. So here's what I think. Lisa, what do you think? So uh listen, I don't think it's a problem. And here's why.

SPEAKER_00 54:24

Okay, sorry, Lisa, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 54:26

True, true. Um, so here's what I'm thinking. Uh there's a story of um, you know, someone who says, Um, I'm an alcoholic because my father was an alcoholic. And then you have another man who says, I'm not an alcoholic because my father was an alcoholic. Yeah. There are way too many factors in someone's life, not the least of which is their resources and their community that help them build the life that they want. Is it possible you could have like the rubber band effect or the um actually more like a slingshot effect or maybe the pendulum swinging? Pick a pick a description that works for you where they'll be like, I was in a pristine house growing up, and now that I live on my own, I'm gonna be an SLO beast. Maybe, but uh, but that's also going to be their choice. They might also follow in your footsteps. It's hard to say, but all this to say you can only be in the present, right? So in the present, when you notice these things, you have a conversation with them to explain what you're trying to accomplish and you know, apologize if you're so inclined, you know, have these healthy conversations and also have the conversations that explain to them your reasoning. And again, depending upon whether, you know, they're questioners or obligers or what they might tend to be, they may appreciate understanding a little better where you're coming from. The second thing that I would challenge you to do as part of a habit, which is also a habit that can be extremely healthy no matter what. It's a kind of thing where when you do it, it can help all sorts of challenges and it's generally very healthy. Um, and that would be some form of gratitude practice and/or challenging yourself to notice the 90%. And what I mean by that is yes, there's gonna be that 10% that drives you crazy. And I hope, by the way, that you have spots in your house that are yours alone. Somewhat.

SPEAKER_05 56:34

I mean, no, actually, no. I I we have to share like we no, no, I don't. Because I have a husband, so there goes my bedroom.

SPEAKER_02 56:45

Okay. Um physically in the house, do you have a space that could become even a corner, uh, a niche, uh, anything, do you think?

SPEAKER_05 56:56

Yeah, I would say definitely like my main floor, like living space is mine. I mean, my husband does land in it every once in a while, and then I'm like, what are you doing here?

SPEAKER_00 57:08

How dare you use that cup?

SPEAKER_05 57:10

Why why is that cup right there? Are you picking it up? Um what are your plans for that cup later?

SPEAKER_00 57:20

It's like the last TV party we had at your house.

SPEAKER_05 57:23

What are you talking about? No, I I I don't really have actually a I would I I would love that. Like a little room that's all mine, like a little studio. That'd be great.

SPEAKER_00 57:35

Oh, kind of like she should a little studio.

SPEAKER_05 57:41

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_02 57:44

Apparently it's gonna be rectangular now, right? Um listen. Um, so the reason I ask that is because if you could even if you designate um a portion of the living room that is like your corner, your space, your, you know, if you could redesign it in some fashion and have it be off limits.

SPEAKER_05 58:06

Oh god, that is so good. So true story, my husband, um, my husband's parents had a living room. It was called the adults only room. What did we call it? Adults only? Yeah, yeah. And we were, I mean, no, once we became old enough. After dark. Yeah, no, we and they didn't, they they did not like us kids in there. And I can understand why. You know, going back.

SPEAKER_02 58:29

That may be why. So that's something to consider, especially if your kids have their own spaces. I mean, I understand shared spaces. Okay, then in that case, um, designating a space for Sadie is really important in this. And here's why. Uh, first of all, because you deserve it. Second of all, because if you have a space that becomes yours and you have that control, you can use that as a diversion where it's like, that's the space that I go to get away from all the other crazy. It can give you a little more space to breathe when the kids are playing and you know, you don't it can help you feel less compelled to be like, I'm picking up while you're still in process and making the mess. It can, you know, you can like count to 10. You can you can set a timer and go a little longer when you have a space to get away from. I'll tell you right now, my office is that for me.

SPEAKER_05 59:18

Yeah, I wish I had office.

SPEAKER_02 59:20

Right. And so if you don't have that, but I did have a what I called my corner office in our bedroom for a while until I was able to get this space. Yeah. And that was like nobody touched that. Like you you don't, you don't go there. I had my own little chair, my own like little desk, and it wasn't a lot. Hands off, but it was mine. Yeah. I think that would be really important for you as you get into the practice of kind of breathing through and and being able to manage better with the 90% because you have an oasis.

SPEAKER_05 59:50

Yeah. I gotta be able to like deal with chaos a little bit better for sure. Right. And that would be a way to help you practice it. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Even even when there's too many people talking and the TV is on, and like say a radio is on, I cannot like I cannot focus. I can feel my blood pressure rising. I feel really agitated. Even loud music in the car and then someone's talking, or it's just it uh it makes me crazy. Absolutely makes me crazy.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:20

You have misophonia like I do.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:22

Well, okay, but I can I can listen to people chew, Scott.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:25

Oh, I'd kill them.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:26

Okay, I know. What's wrong with wait, wait, wait, what's wrong with Scott?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:32

There's nothing wrong with Big Scotty. No, we're all okay. Look.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:36

Help, Lisa, SOS. SOS.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:39

No, no, no. My wife just tells me what to do, and I just do it. And happy wife, happy life makes Big Scotty happy.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:44

I still remember talking about shoes at the door with you.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:47

So this Oh my god. Put your fucking shoes to the side.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:51

What?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:51

Like my kid walks in, drops his fucking shoes down, he closes the door, but then puts his fucking shoes right in front of the door. So I'm gonna move them anyway.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:59

Yeah, I know. Mine does it.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:02

One of the things that I wanted to make sure that I always said to my kid was, and I have, this might be a bit off topic from Lisa's philosophy.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:10

You came from my ball sack?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:11

No. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:12

You could you should tell him that though.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:14

Actually, hey kid, you came from my ball sack. A couple of things. Lisa, join in on here. True by Spando Ballet was playing throughout the house.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:23

Right?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:24

Liam and his friends were here, and our family, Sadie may have been here, I don't know. Uh and I turned. Spando Ballet was playing, and I turned to Liam, and I was standing right beside my wife Joanna, and I said, Hey, Liam. And he looks at both Joanna and I, and I said, Your mom and I used to do it to this song.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:42

Oh God, Scott. Oh my God. This much is true. Right in front of his body.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:50

She laughed harder than I did.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:52

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:52

Liam actually has a pretty good sense of humor when it comes to stuff like that. But Big Scotty, Big Scotty's fine. I don't know. Listen, just don't chew gum really loudly in front of me, and I won't cut your head off.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:02

So And you know what it sounded like? Uh uh.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:17

Lisa closing thoughts. Lisa, any closing thoughts? Any advice to people who feel overwhelmed? Because it doesn't only happen in the office, it happens at home. It doesn't only happen at home. It happens in the car, it happens in traffic. One big good, one really good piece of advice uh that you can give leave with our listeners.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:39

Find a way to step away. And that could mean decluttering, it could mean turning off, it could be walking away with the garbage bag, like we said earlier, right? Walking out the door and staying out there. Um, one of the things I wanted to mention to Sadie, and this fits perfectly with the closing idea, is that a lot of times this overwhelm is a nervous system thing. We are we so much is coming at us in life. Find a way to take that down, to breathe through it. And yeah, removing yourself in some way. That to me, that's the first step because you can't focus, you can't problem solve, you can't heal, you can't do any of those things or take those steps without giving yourself that space first.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:24

For sure. I would love to be able to live outside of my body for like when that when that type of shit is happening. Oh my God, Scott.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:31

Sorry.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:31

Um, live outside my body or like have someone right beside me and like when it's happening and when I should step back to kind of guide me through that like three times, and then I just become a professional at it. Volunteer. Oh God. Does that mean we need to spend more time together?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:46

Yep.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:47

Okay. Maybe I don't want to change the next episode.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:51

Maybe Sadie just doesn't want to be any different.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:54

Maybe. I don't know. I am set in my ways.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:57

Sadie, do you have any other questions for your new therapist?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:00

I know, I don't. At Lisa, it was really nice to meet you.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:03

It was really nice to meet you two. I hope some of this helped. There's it has.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:08

I'm gonna give you a listen for sure. Awesome.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:11

Oh, uh brilliant podcast. And uh like as you can hear, and I will make sure it sounds like this on today's episode, the dulcet tones of uh the voice of Lisa Zarotny.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:22

Oh my god, that was so sexual. Just the way you were looking at me.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:26

Not sexual, it was just a fancy. No, she's got a new microphone. She's got an uh sure SM7B, I believe, in front of her right now. And yeah, you know. If you listen to the opening of her podcast, you'll hear her beautiful voice. Okay, I was just complimenting someone to have a lot of people.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:44

I'm just sorry, I'm just making fun of you. That's part of what I do here.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:46

Right. All black. Like that. Lisa, thank you so much for joining us. I really appreciate it. Uh well, you know what? Can we can we like I'm gonna therapise Sadie peripherally using the the you know the visions and the values that you've instilled in us on today's episode, and maybe we can have you back in about six months and we'll see if we've caused any improvement for Sadie.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:10

I do, I love that. And part of what I do as a coach is to follow up with the thoughts that we've talked about. So what I'm gonna do is uh shoot you a message for Sadie with some of my ideas and suggestions, and uh yeah, that'll that'll help because when you're like waiting for a second, yeah, that's a normal response.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:33

So that's fantastic, Lisa. Thanks, Lisa. So Lisa, where can we find you on socials? It's it's positive I gotta say it properly, sorry. Positively productive.com, but where can we find you on socials and uh your podcast? Please tell us everywhere we can get our audience can get a hold of you.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:52

I appreciate that. Positively productive.com is my hub, so like you can find me in all the places from there, but You're listening to an amazing podcast here. You can hop right over on the same player and find me at Positively Living Shame Free Productivity Conversations. And also on the socials. I mean, I'm on on the Facebook because I gotta be, but mostly I like having fun on Instagram, positively underscore Lisa. That's where I make uh a fool out of myself for the sake of laughter, which I call stress management. And we just have a good time because that's what life's all about.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:27

It is. And we love watching videos of your boys performing uh music as well. Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:34

I got some good musicians and artists, and I I appreciate the support.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:38

So say any one more thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:41

Wait, hold on. You what how old are your kids and what do they do? Oh, I've got a 15, almost 16-year-old, and an 18-year-old who's off to college. My eldest is the primarily the musician, and he's a heck of a rock star. And I'm not just saying that because I'm moments. Oh, I love this for you. I wish my kids have. It's like so fun. It's so fun. And then my youngest is an amazing artist and and loves it. They both have the passion for it, the um in the arts, and I love that for them. So that's cool. You must be a proud mama. I am I definitely am, but more importantly, they're good people too, and I like that in this world.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:21

I tell my kids that all the time. I'm like, I don't care what you do in this world, just as long as you show up as a good human being. I love that. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:29

The website is positivelyproductive.com, and this is Lisa Zarani. Lisa, please stay on the line so we can tell you where to send your prizes. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:38

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:44

I have a whiskey smoking kit.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:48

Do you have anything else?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:49

I have lots of booze.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:51

I don't drink whiskey.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:52

Well, I've got more than whiskey. I can make you a Negroni. I can like do a whole bunch of shit. Oh whoa. Whoa. Yes, sir. And I can smoke it with my smoking gun. Was that not a great conversation with Lisa Zarotny?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:09

It was. She was great.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:10

What did you pull out of that? Did you do you think, do you really think that, like, honestly, like she is so good at what she does as far as I'm concerned, but you have never met her. I've met her because one thing I didn't mention was in previous iterations of the Start Talking podcast, I had Lisa on as a guest.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:27

I know you said that.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:29

Um what did you think? Did you learn something? Like, do you really think there's some things, some best practices you can apply?

SPEAKER_05 1:08:35

Listen, there is yes, 100%. There's some best practices that I should absolutely start practicing. I just I guess I just don't know where to start. I mean, maybe I'm gonna go back, listen to this episode, and just start just somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:54

Well, I mean she is gonna send me some notes because I know you don't do the email.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:59

Yeah. I would love to challenge myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:01

I will send them to you.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:02

I would love to challenge myself when I'm when I'm getting into that that state and just to hang back and not just not give a shit for like even if it's 30 minutes, even if I get a like a time clock and say, okay, for the next 30 minutes, I'm not even gonna give a shit about the state of what is happening around me and just live in the moment instead of just being so reactionary.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:27

Yeah, on you know what I think you need? You need to tell your husband to build you a she shed.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:32

I do need a she shed.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:34

Not in the house, like you literally need to leave the back door onto the patio, go down, go back to the back of the backyard, and get in your she shed and read a Daniel Steele novel, snap off a batch, you know, just fucking listen to some music. Yeah, that would be actually really nice. I just want to be Sadie, man. What's it like to be you? I just want to be you, Noah. Yeah. Well, we want to thank Lisa's Rodney for joining us for this week's episode of uh Start Talking with Sadie and Scott.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:09

Are you from Rochester?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:10

Rochester. Uh are you ready for the we have two five-star reviews on this one I think was from Spotify and one was from Apple. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_06 1:10:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:22

Okay, here we go. Nicole B from Ottawa gave us five stars, and she said this podcast somehow makes everyday stress feel funny instead of overwhelming. They talk about things everyone deals with, but in a way that doesn't feel heavy. All right. Okay. It's easy to listen to, totally entertaining, and the guest episodes are always worth it. Oh she must listen to some episodes with Katie or Michelle.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:53

Yeah, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:54

And please, uh, Nicole, don't forget to listen to this this episode with our special guest, Lisa Zarotnie.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:00

So thanks, Nicole.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:01

All right, here's from Jordan L. Now I don't know if Jordan is uh he, she, they. Um, but uh if it's uh you know uh she or they, I'm gonna say hey Jordan. From Calgary. Okay. I'll say it. Scott is the sneaky MVP of this show. Yes, guy! Yes, guy. Finally got a shout out to Big Scotty. Well, she still gives a kudos. Sadie is hilarious, but Scott's timing and random one-liners catch me off guard every episode. The chemistry between them is what makes this work. Oh he plays it calm, but he's actually driving half the laughs. Oh my god. Jordan L, thank you so much for that.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:46

You drive this whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:47

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:49

Voice of yours. Come on.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:51

What are you talking about, Sadie?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:54

I'm wearing a blue sweatshirt. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:57

Are you gonna do it?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:59

Maybe we should do this thing where we should just describe what I'm wearing every episode.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:05

Oh, you need to. Everyone, if you haven't listened, go back two episodes, go back one episode, go back and then go back two episodes after the. I haven't even listened to it.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:15

I haven't listened to it yet.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:18

I haven't listened to it yet.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:20

Where Sadie likes to describe to people what she's wearing. Oh my god, it is it is classic podcast material, folks. You're gonna laugh your butt up. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode of Start Talking with Sadie and Scott. We hope that you enjoyed listening to it as much as we did bringing it to you. Sadie, any closing thoughts before we rock, paper, scissors to say who can say we're out for now?

SPEAKER_05 1:12:47

Oh my god, are we rock, paper, paper, scissoring?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:49

Are we scissoring? Try that again. Do you want me to edit that out, or do you want to just me to say take two?

SPEAKER_05 1:12:54

I never want you to edit anything out. Just go. Let's just go.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:58

Okay, you ready? Rock, paper, scissors.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:03

Shoot.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:03

Nope. Tight.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:04

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:07

What do I have to do?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:09

Oh my god. You would suck on a morning show. You won the rock, paper, scissors. Now you get to say we're out.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:19

Oh god. All right, people. Thanks for joining us this week. This is Sadie and Scott. We love you so much. Continuing. No, go on back.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:29

Good.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:30

I wanted to say continue listening.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:33

How about you say something like, please check us out on all our socials? We're on Facebook, we're on Instagram. We now are on TikTok. And don't forget to check out if you want to reach out to the show, please click the link in the podcast episode description and send us a text message. Uh texting rates may apply. Or you can send us a message on Instagram and TikTok, or you can send us an email to start talkingpod at gmail.com. How about that, Sadie?

SPEAKER_05 1:13:59

That was very long-winded, but that is exactly what it is long-winded. It was concise into the It's everything that I would have absolutely said, of course.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:05

All right, now you can say we're out for now.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:08

Later, bitches.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:12

Our tagline is out for now.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:14

Out for now.